Host
Host when you mean it, including the dishes. Say what you will provide and what people should bring. A host who resents the role has a worse time than the guests.
All comparisons
Everyday
Host or meet out
Hosting looks generous and includes the dishes. Meeting out looks easy and includes the bill and the noise.
Hosting works when your place can hold the people and everyone is comfortable in a home. It is better for a long conversation and for children who need privacy. Meeting out works when the house is small, you do not want to clean, or someone should not have to be a guest in a home.
Do not volunteer someone else’s house. The host has to be the person who offered. If nobody offers, you are meeting out, and that is a complete answer.
Meet out
Meet out when the group is new, the house does not fit, or you want a finish time the venue will enforce. Pick a place where you can hear each other talk.
What actually differs
| Difference | Host | Meet out |
|---|---|---|
| Space | Your rooms | The venue |
| Cleanup | Yours | Not yours |
| Cost | Food you buy | A bill |
| New group | Can feel like an interview | Easier |
| End of the night | You are still the host | The venue closes |
Questions about this choice
What if we rotate houses?
Good, if each host offers. A rota that assigns people’s homes without asking is how friendships get administrative.
Who pays when you meet out?
Decide before you order. The page about splitting the check is that argument. Do not discover the rule when the bill arrives.